i woke up feeling a little better today... Day 3...only a shitload more to go.

it seems like an eternity.  And I find myself wondering what will happen in 6 months... I fear the worst.  Never being able to be in her life again.  I do hope at the very least we will still be able to be friends.  That's all I hoped for last time and it took us so much farther.  M will be wary...he should be.  1 last chance to get it right.

I left a secret message for her on facebook a couple of days ago reminding her to breathe.  I don't know if she will ever see it.  I doubt I will know for 6 months.

as always j is on my mind.

I did have some other things to kind of distract my mind for a little while.  My soon to be ex wife and I sat down and talked more about the financial situation and how we were going to split the debt. We took the inventory of our possessions that we took the week before and worked on assigning values to each item.  We made sure we agreed on each one.  It looks like I will be taking on a little more of the debt since she will be leaving so much behind.
she also started looking for a place to move to after I pushed her a little more.  We need to physically be away from each other to help us move on and focus on our lives...  She already found a promising place and will most likely be moving out at the end of the month.  This is great news.